Dear Friends,
I was raised to pursue excellence which led me to develop compulsive tendencies to try to be perfect. Mistakes were fine if other people made them, but I attempted to avoid them at all costs as I strove for excellence.
As I grew, I began to notice the prevalence, and power of, mistakes. The best hitters in baseball make an out 2 out of 3 times at the bat. As a door to door bible salesman I received only 3 “yeses” to 27 “nos” on demonstrations. As a partner at the largest, most successful hedge fund in the world, I noted that we would be wrong on about 40% of our trades, while still making money consistently for our clients.
Recognizing the prevalence of mistakes in life led me to develop attitudes that support living with mistakes. I will highlight three:
Humility: I know there is a lot I don’t know. Physicists say 96% of the universe is dark matter (which means they don’t know what it is) and biologists say that 98% of our DNA is junk DNA (which means they don’t know what it is).
Curiosity: Mistakes and failures can lead to questions like “what is true?” and “what works?” Once curiosity is sparked, we care less about how we look to others, and more about learning about how we can achieve our goals.
Growth: Learning from mistakes provides opportunities for personal growth. My friend, Ray Dalio calls this “looping” and has a magnificent 5-step process in his book and videos for converting failure into growth. Growth is about shifting the focus from mistakes to the responses to mistakes.
However, attitude is not enough, since even if we develop a receptive attitude we still need tools and skills. Two tools I have found helpful are:
Hero's Journey Framework: Joseph Campbell, the great mythologist and author, articulated an archetypal cycle we all go through, which I have re-interpreted to highlight mistakes as a way to provide guidance to the hero.
Mindfulness: Cultivating calmness, awareness and centeredness facilitates an ability to look down on ourselves from above so we are less reactive when mistakes happen. We want to be actively calm and calmly active.
The “magic of mistakes” is about learning to appreciate mistakes for the serendipity and magic they bring to life. The journey of personality growth involves pain, which is a requisite to moving through the hero’s journey.
Through all of this it’s important to keep the flame of passion alive. Beethoven said “to play a wrong note is insignificant; to play without passion is inexcusable” and Miles Davis famously added “there are no wrong notes”. Notice how these masters were not obsessed with mistakes. So play with passion!
With Humility + Curiosity,
Rob & The Band Central Team
TAKE A BREATH
Deb Greenwood, President and CEO at Center For Family Justice is a compelling leader in our state, and an advocate for families dealing with domestic and sexual violence. Below is a WICC radio clip of Deb and Rob Fried on WICC radio talking about Rob’s new music video release Moving On and how it is being used as an instrument of hope at Family Justice Centers.Deb Greenwood, President and CEO at Center For Family Justice is a compelling leader in our state, and an advocate for families dealing with domestic and sexual violence. Below is a WICC radio clip of Deb and Rob Fried on WICC radio talking about Rob’s new music video release Moving On and how it is being used as an instrument of hope at Family Justice Centers.
NONPROFIT SPOTLIGHT
This month we feature a non-profit that supports the vitality of music, arts and culture - Fairfield Theatre Company. Check out the video above for the live stream of our April Band Central Radio program featuring John Reid, Artist Director of FTC along with saxman Rob Somerville and WPKN GM Steve di Costanzo. To learn more about FTC, check out their calendar of events and consider becoming a member today!
We’ve provided time stamps to help you locate segments that interest you.
0.00: Pre broadcast - John Reid orientation to studio
2:30: Live broadcast begin - Intro segment
15:40: Play one song - Speed Bump Of Your Love by Kung Fu
18:15: Rob Interviews Rob Somerville from Deep Banana Blackout, Kung Fu
35:00: Rob interviews John Reid from Fairfield Theatre Company
56:00: Closing segment - Life Colors by Rob Fried
58:11: Broadcast ends
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